How To Be More Polite In German: German Politeness in Speaking
You might think being polite in German is not that different from what you are used to in your language or in your country. But have you ever not wondered why individuals often find themselves in the middle of arguments and fights?
Simply, because of miscommunication.
Communication is important in all aspects of our life. But that’s another story for another time.
Even among family members, communication problems exist. So imagine travelling to different places and countries and meeting different races.
Even greetings differ a lot and there are various ways to express yourself in a more polite manner. And that’s what we’re going to talk about here – being polite in German and how you can express yourself in a polite manner in Germany.
But before that, let’s know first about the word ”polite” in the German language.
What is polite in German
When you want to say politely in the German language, you should say ”höflich” (IPA: /ˈhøːflɪç/). It comes from the Middle High German word ”Hof” which means court in English.
You might be thinking of the word ”courteous” which is a synonym for polite. So how should you behave in court? Well-mannered and elegant. That’s right.
How to sound polite in German
One can show politeness in words and in action but this time we’ll focus first more on speaking.
Germans are known to be brusque when they speak in their native language, German, but before you jump to conclusions that somebody is being rude to you in Germany, you should know the terms and phrases that give you an idea that a German speaker is not foul mouthing you – perhaps on the contrary and you didn’t get it.
Polite German words and phrases
The pronoun ”Sie”
”Sie” is a personal pronoun for she, they and you in a formal form and that’s what we are going to discuss here, the use of ”Sie”. The ”S” is capitalized which also gives you the idea that it is the formal form of you regardless of its position in the sentence.
When should you use ”Sie”?
If you just meet somebody, it is better to be formal so you would not come off as rude especially if you’re talking to someone you don’t know personally and is older than you.
We also use formal pronouns when talking to officials, especially police officers. It is considered rude and if the officer sues you for ”Beamtenbeleidigung” which is a crime that means insulting an official, you could be fined up to €4000.
Aside from officials and individuals you don’t know or you just met, you can also use ”Sie” at your workplace to your superiors and also colleagues.
There are also instances that you could make the switch because we all know, that addressing formally may sound so stiff in the long run especially if you always see the persons you’re addressing formally.
With that in mind you can ask, ”Können wir uns duzen?” Can we call each other ”du”?
Take note:
- siezen – address somebody with ”Sie”
- duzen – address somebody with ”du”
bitte
This word has a lot of meanings in German. It can be you’re welcome, what, sure, and please.
But we’re discussing here the ”bitte” for please.
If you are requesting in German, you can insert the word ”bitte” which we also do in English.
”Kannst du mir bitte das Brot reichen?” Can you please pass the bread?
”Ja, bitte.” Yes, please. Instead of just answering a single yes to a prompting question, you can add the word ”bitte”. Another example of answering in a more polite manner is by saying ”ja, sehr gerne” or ”ja, natürlich”.
Take note:
- ja, sehr gerne – yes, please/I’d be glad to!
- ja, natürlich – yes, of course.
vielleicht
”Vielleicht” is an adverb that means maybe, probably or perhaps in English and you can use this to sound more polite in German.
Using this word sounds like giving more options to somebody you’re talking to or it can be answerable with yes or no instead of just commanding somebody to do something for you without giving the chance to decline.
Examples:
”Kannst du vielleicht morgen kommen?” Can you maybe come tomorrow?
”Kannst du mir vielleicht helfen?” Can you please help me?
könnten
”Könnten” is a subjunctive form of the modal verb ”können”. These two are somewhat similar with only the difference that the former expresses more politeness while the verb ”können” expresses ability.
Take note:
- könnten – could
- können – can
But you should not be confused with ”konnten” and ”könnten” as it is quite easy to remember and spot the difference. ”Konnten”, the verb without the umlaut, is the past tense form of the verb ”können”.
Examples:
”Könnten Sie bitte den Termin auf nächste Woche verschieben?” Could you please postpone the appointment to next week?
The sentence sounds more courteous than when you just use the normal modal verb ”können”.
”Könntest du morgen die Arbeit machen?” Could you do the work tomorrow? This expresses request in a polite manner.
”Kannst du morgen arbeiten?” Can you work tomorrow? This one only asks one’s capacity or ability to do a certain thing without a hint of request.
Use of Titles and Names
Aside from using the appropriate formal pronoun, ”Sie”, you can express more politeness by using the right address and names in Germany like ”Herr” for Mr. and ”Frau” for Miss and Mrs.
Examples:
”Es freut mich, Sie kennenzulernen, Herr Libik.” Nice to meet you, Mr.Libik.
”Frau Müller, hast du meine Email schon erhalten?” Did you already receive my email, Mrs Müller? Though we use ”du” in this sentence, we still retain politeness by addressing the person with the correct title and her family name.
You might have heard the word ”Fräulein” and in fact, there’s an old song with the same title, which I really love by the way, and it means Miss in English.
But it is actually considered disrespectful and impolite to call a woman with this title. It was explained to me before that using this to a woman seems like you’re talking to a child – so better avoid using this.
Entschuldigen Sie
If you want to excuse yourself or ask for forgiveness in a polite manner in German, you should use this phrase, ”entschuldigen Sie”. For example, if you’re in the middle of a conversation, asking for a direction and in other situations (we will discuss later), you can use this phrase to express yourself more courteously.
Take note:
”Entschuldigen” is also a reflexive verb which you will always pair with reflexive pronouns such as ”mich”, ”dich”, and ”sich”. These reflexive verbs are also conjugated according to the subject same with their pronouns respectively.
If you’re in a conversation, you can say:
”Entschuldigen Sie mich, ich muss leider jetzt gehen.” Excuse me, unfortunately, I have to go now.
You’re still in a conversation but you want to say something or you want to express your opinion, you can say:
”Entschuldigen Sie bitte, wenn ich das so sage, aber das Thema ist wirklich heftig.” Forgive me for saying this but the topic is really intense.
If you realized or noticed that you interrupted while the other was talking, you should say:
”Entschuldigen Sie bitte, ich habe Sie unterbrochen, Frau Müller.” Please forgive me, I have interrupted you, Mrs. Müller.
If you come late, you should say:
”Entschuldigen Sie bitte die Verspätung.” I apologize for being late.
”Ich entschuldige mich für die Verspätung.” I apologize for arriving late. – This time we use the reflexive form of the verb which also carries the same meaning and ”für” is the fixed preposition for that which means for in English.
If you’re asking around:
”Entschuldigung, ich suche eine Bäckerei.” Excuse me, I am looking for a bakery. You can also say ”Entschuldigung” which is the noun form of the verb.
How to greet politely in German
Germans are cold individuals – we often heard that. So when you are in a waiting room for example in a doctor’s office for your appointment, you notice somebody just arrives and greets ”guten Tag” in a cold manner.
For non-German like me, it might seem really unfriendly and yes, it might seem very stiff but this is the way they are.
They greet when they enter a room, take their seat and sit in silence. They don’t smile when they greet too.
So next time when you experience that cold greeting, don’t take it personally.
Phrases used to greet in German
- Wie geht es Ihnen? – How are you? (Formal)
- Ich grüße Sie! – I greet you.
- Grüß Gott! – Good day (literally means ”Greet God”, which you will often hear in southern Germany)
- Mahlzeit – Enjoy your meal. This is also a greeting you will hear around noon.
When is ‘Bitte’ impolite
You might think ”bitte” is always polite in German but there are certain situations when this word becomes impolite and even unfriendly sometimes.
Using this word to ask or request in German may not sound so nice which is contrary to what we have discussed above but it doesn’t also mean that ”bitte” is not polite at all – it really depends on how one uses it and when one uses it.
Even in English whenever we drop the word please (especially at the end of the sentence) sounds more authoritarian or commanding. It may sound even more condescending if you pair it with an annoyed tone and manner.
Example:
- ”Kannst du bitte deine Musik ausmachen? Ich kann jetzt nicht schlafen!” Can you turn off your music, please? I can’t sleep now.
- ”Hallo, kannst du bitte zuhören?” Hello, can you please listen to me?
These two sentences above don’t give options to answer with yes or no or to refuse what the person is saying. Although ”bitte” is used, it is not delivered politely and the idea behind it is not to request but to demand. It also gives off the vibe that you’re talking to a child and you’re berating him for something he did.
Whereas if you read these sentences below, you can see the difference and how it transforms the sentences into a more polite manner.
- ”Könntest du bitte deine Musik ausmachen? Ich muss leider morgen früh zur Arbeit gehen und ich muss schon schlafen.” Could you please turn off your music? I have to go to work early morning tomorrow and I should be sleeping now.
- ”Entschuldigen Sie, könnten Sie bitte zuhören? Danke schön.” Excuse me, could you please listen to me. Thank you.
How To Be More Polite In German: Conclusion
Now you’re ready to conquer Germany with your polite way of speaking in German. You can start it with your German friends and practice your way through Deutschland.
Want German updates? Join our newsletter.
